A day In the Life of An Ironic Guy

my thoughts feelings and everything in between that affects my life as an individual and as a member of the society chronicled for your reading pleasure

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Friday, August 31, 2007

Beauty Pageant Boo-Boos

Host: What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?
Male Contestant: Uhmm... taptoy.
Host: What taptoy?
Male Contestant: Taptoy na teddy bird.


Host: What's your ideal age for marriage?
Girl: Uhmm... I am not sure...
Host: Hindi... Kunwari ikaw, more or less...?
Girl: Uhmm... more.
(crowd booing...)
Sige, Sige... Less, less


Host: If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to
showcase the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl Contestant: Bocaue.
Host: Bocaue...? Why Bocaue?
Girl: Because it's a magnificent place.
Host: Which part of Bocaue?
Girl: The Bocaue Rice Terraces.
(Banawe kaya 'yon!)


Host: Who's your favorite author?
Contestant: Danielle Steele.
Host: Why Danielle Steele?
Contestant: Because... because Danielle Steele, I like best. Thank
you.


Host: How would you like me to address you?
Contestant: My address is Project 8, Quezon City.


Host: What is your best feature?
Contestant: My graduation feature.

Host: So tell us, why did you join this contest?
Contestant: Me? Join this contest? Why did I... That's all. Thank you!

Host: What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant: I want to be a successful Medicine.


Host: Hindi ito boob... hindi ito tube... Pero tinatawag itong
boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant: BRA!


Host: What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant: Please come back.


Host: What is your typical day?
Contestant: I think Saturday po!


(Gay Contest)
Host: Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant: I think and believe na bilang isang bading...
(pause)
...Ano nga po ulit yung question?


Host: Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant: (believe it or not she answered) ...Si Melanie Marquez po!


Host: What is your favorite motto?
Contestant: (after a long pause) I don't have a motto eh.
(so the crowd starts helping her out. the crowd started saying, "Time is
gold! Time is gold!")
Contestant: I have na po. Chinese gold!


Host: If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how
would you do it?
Contestant: That's a very good question. Keep it up. (then the girl
turns and walks away.)


Host: Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl: JOSE RIZAL! (crowd starts laughing.)
Host: Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl: Hulk Hogan.


Host: If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant: Uhmm... bumble bee!


Host: What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant: My edge is 23 years old.


Host: What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl: Between 24 and 25!


Host: How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl: I'll be 28.


Host: Describe your special someone in three words.
Girl: Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.
Host: Ok, sige...
Girl: In one word... MY LIFE!


Host: If you were given any special power, what would it be?
Girl: Power of Attorney!


Host: So you like reading, who's your favorite author?
Girl: Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host: What works of Shakespeare?
Girl: Hindi ko po alam eh.
Host: But he's your favorite...?
Girl: Eh... kasi patay na sya eh.


Host: What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl:Drugs.
Host: Why?
Girl: Mahal eh!


Host: Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here?
Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant: Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did
you walk?

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1 Comments:

  • At 9:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    some funny shit

     

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