AN APOLOGY FOR FRANKLIN

I knew if ever you will be able to drop by at this blog, you will condemned me for naming you again! Anyway you're not the only franklin in the world so nobody would know you here except for robin.

I asked my apologies to you but i think you never accepted it, well i understand your situation on that, but my intentions were pure and was not in any way to expose your identity in the room.

I was working then when i took a peek at the main window and saw your messages there. It was too late to reply for those messages, what came into my mind was to ask for an apology, it so happen that i post your name to be able to let you know the message was for you, only then i realize i still had the option to mack you in private. Anyway its done, and i cant do nothing to bring it back and have my mistake be straighten up.

I guess you never accepted my apology when i sent you message privately. My only consolation was that you replied to my SMS message, though i knew you havent accepted yet my apology at least you have said your piece...

"i was wrong when i thought you deserved my trust! You're aware of the vagueness of the channel I supposed, therefore you should have been prudent then in dropping names!"

Im really sorry dude, and i got your point, i should not have done it , it wasnt my intention to post your name to expose your identity. If it would mean an end to the premature friendship and trust we have, then so be it, i cant do nothing to restore it.

this has been your ironicguy feeling sorry

now signing off


life is simple, ironic it may seem because of the complexities it brought in.

PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS
Brian's memories in a Robins Whirr


For the last five days, ive been hooked to the boobtube every 10 pm watching the newest ABS-CBN asianovela offering Memories of Bali and Stained Glass.

Well actually this blog isnt about the two shows, this is a conversation that took place yesterday which i tried to connect with the two shows in a forced way...hehe

MEMORIES OF BRIAN
While browsing the net in line with my work, somebody macked me surprisingly! Its been a long time since we last chatted... Brian my friend, my buddy, my bro... and with this conversation you will know how silly we are telling non sense stuffs... i miss him a lot..

banana_demon: hellojunnrey21: kumusta na
junnrey21: long time no hear
junnrey21: selos na jud ko anang imong jayron ba...heheh (im getting jealous over your jayron!)
banana_demon: lolz! (loughing out loud)
banana_demon: graveh selos man jud (really jelous, huh!)
junnrey21: alangan (of course)
junnrey21: puro jayron ang naa sa blog (everything on your blog is jayron)
junnrey21: lewl
banana_demon: isa lang kaya to (its only one blog)
junnrey21: duha kaya... gi.erase nimo ang isa...hehehe (there are two, you erased the first one..)
junnrey21: yung tagalog (the one written in tagalog)
banana_demon: lolz! oo nga. kay gago man xa (yah, coz he is stupid!)
junnrey21: naks..........
banana_demon: :))
junnrey21: wen ka mag.alis for dubai (when are you going off for dubai)
junnrey21: may date na? (is there a fixed date)
banana_demon: may 19
junnrey21: graveh... dili na mapug.an (huh! i cant let you stay!)
banana_demon: mayo nang mayo pa kay dugay pa (its good to have it in May, its quite longer)
junnrey21: wala pa jud ko ana na time... il be in bohol by then ( I would not be here by that time, Ill be in Bohol by then)
junnrey21: :(
banana_demon: kita ta sa iloilo (We'll meet at Iloilo)
junnrey21: kalayo ba sa iloilo ug bohol (Iloilo is far from bohol)
banana_demon: ay ewan (i dont know)
banana_demon: pero pede man cguro (But i think we can be)
junnrey21: wen mo man ibigay yang long overdue na pic mo na yan (when are you going to give that overdue picture of yours)
banana_demon: lolz! na suspend ako sa friendster ba (my friendster account is suspended)
junnrey21: mawala ka na lang sa pinas...la pa japon na mahatag sa akoa (you will be gone from the PHilippines yet you havent given me that yet)
junnrey21: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
junnrey21: nano naman sad (why it is suspended?)
banana_demon: ambot lagi (i dont know)
junnrey21: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
banana_demon: wa ko kabalo kung may nagreklamo ( i dont know if somebody sent a demand protest)
junnrey21: heheh.... sayang akong testi ato na pinakabongga....lewl (my testimonial for you was put to waste)
banana_demon: mao lagi... lagot kaayo (yeah, its so annoying)
junnrey21: gabaan guru ka kay la ko nimo himoi ug testi (its karma i guess because you did not make a testimonial for me)
junnrey21: weeeeeeeeeeeeeee
junnrey21: joke
banana_demon: ha... naghimo na ko... wa man... nag error yata (what... i did make, i think there was an error)
junnrey21: waaaaaaaaaaaaa
junnrey21: mao ba (is that so)
junnrey21: di ko natanggap
banana_demon: cge lang... me myspace ka ba? ( dont worry, you have myspace account?)
junnrey21: yupz....
junnrey21: pero tatlo lang ata ang friends ko dun (but i think i only have three friends there)
junnrey21: di ko kasi inaasikaso...paminsan minsan lang inoopen ( i dont usually open it)
banana_demon: lolz
junnrey21: hehe
junnrey21: friendster loyal ako (im loyal with friendster)
junnrey21: lolz
banana_demon: samok abi ning myspce.... daghan pede gawin kaya maraming ek2 (you have lots of things to do at myspace, its so so complicated)
junnrey21: korek! (correct)
junnrey21: madaming ka ek.ekan... (very complicated )
junnrey21: meron akong hi5,.multiply,pinoyster,at kung ano anopang account, pero friendster talaga ang sentro (i do have hi5,multiply, pinoyster and some other account but friendster is where i usually open)
banana_demon: yepz... same
banana_demon: pero now... myspace lang sa
junnrey21: pinost ko pala yung pic mo sa blog ko...hehehe ... kahit di ako nagpaalam... nasa photoalbum section (i posted your picture on my blog... hehehe.. i havent ask permission, its in the photoalbum section)
junnrey21: i can delete it if u want
banana_demon: no... its ok... its flattering
junnrey21: di ka naba nag.nenet...tagal na kasi tayong nagkachat (havent you gone online for the past days, its been quite a while when we last chatted)
banana_demon: oo... mejo tagal na me wala net... bz kasi tas u know... c jayron (yes... its quite a while i go online...im busy as you know,,, jayron)
junnrey21: amf!
banana_demon: wag ka kc magselos (dont get jealous)
junnrey21: alang katapusang jayron (a no-ending jayron)
junnrey21: alisin na ang on para JAYR na matira (you take that ON so JAYR will be retain)
banana_demon: lolz! oo nga ano (come to think of it, ya)
junnrey21: hehe
banana_demon: alam mo.... gustong sumama... ayaw niya me malayo sa kanya (you know... he wanted to join me... he doesnt want me to be far from him)
junnrey21: naks naman! ano palang status between u and him...... mang ON , mag MU or ano ( so whats the status between you and him, boyfrieds? MU or what)
banana_demon: ewan ko.... freinds? ( i dont know....friends?)
junnrey21: FF?
banana_demon: nope.. i love him too much to be ff....
junnrey21: NAKS........... grabe na ito.... (this is it!)
junnrey21: i concede na....LOLZ
banana_demon: di ko lang alam kung ano ba gusto niya mangyari ( i dont know what he wanted to happen)
banana_demon: mahal niya ako kaso he's not ready to go public ( i love him but then he's not ready to go public)
junnrey21: okies..... maybe in time...
junnrey21: kasi naman d2 sa pinas napakaraming mapanghusgang mortal (its because here in the PHilippines, lots of judging mortals domain)
junnrey21: maybe kaya sya nag.aalinlangan (maybe thats the reason for his hesitations)
banana_demon: kerek....
junnrey21: i regularly check ur blog ... hehe , ive been hooked into ur life coz its pretty much interesting...hehe.. and i love ur writing more than ur aura...lolz.... naka-link kasi yung site mo sa blog ko...kaya everynow and then nakakaopen ako sa blog mo ( i regulary check your blog, ive been hookd into your life coz its pretty much interesting .............. its being linked into my blog thats why everynow and then i can open it)
banana_demon: lolz! maybe i'll be writing more... i think i have a story to telljunnrey21: okies...
junnrey21: hats off ako sa literary skills mo! :*)
banana_demon: nyeh... di naman ako magaling (im not good)
banana_demon: just a fool writing his heart
junnrey21: para sakin ikaw pa rin ang d best (for me youre still the best)
junnrey21: ano nga ba kors mo (whats your course again?)
banana_demon: marketing.... but i used to be the editor sa ateneo
junnrey21: ok, no wonder
junnrey21: ur great
banana_demon: di naman..... (nope)
junnrey21: too much humility is pride my dear
banana_demon: hahahahaha! di nga.... i always say i'm not the best
banana_demon: because if i am... i cannot go on anymore
junnrey21: yah ryt
junnrey21: i got ur point
banana_demon: anyway.... ano ba ang drama now? (anyway , whats the drama now?)
junnrey21: drama...? nagseselos ako sa jayron mo!! hehehe (drama? im getting jelous over your jayron,,,hehe)
banana_demon: wag sabi (as i said dont get envy)
junnrey21: oo na di na ako magseselos (ok, i wont be jealous any longer)
banana_demon: i'll upload his pics soon
junnrey21: sa kanya ka na ... (you can be his possession)
banana_demon: para amkita mo how he looks like (so you will see how he look like)
junnrey21: lalo akong mainsecure niyan hehe ( i will feel insecure with that hehe)
junnrey21: lolz
junnrey21: may brain ba ang mokong? (does he got brains)
banana_demon: i think so.... he also have a photographic memory
junnrey21: photographic memory isnt a basis for intelligence
banana_demon: i now.... but its quiet amazing how he can remeber every details
junnrey21: oh well.......
banana_demon: selos lang yan (its only jealousy)
junnrey21: coming from someone who is inlove with the person...no comment
junnrey21: bri, got to go now,, mag .off na kami
banana_demon: ok
junnrey21: miz u na talaga
banana_demon: ok.. me too
junnrey21: i love you ma friend
banana_demon: :) luvs u


junnrey21 has signed out


STAINED FRIENDSHIP
At night i had a pretty much nice exchange of intellectual superiorities . . hehe

robin: punta na gyud si arthur sa cdo (arthur will be goin to cdo)
me: care ko ( i dont care)
robin: gisulti lang man sad nako ( im just telling you only)
me: well, no comment, its your lives not mine
robin: you know, youre acting too much
me: What am i supposed to say then, encourage you to join him? or tease you for the nth time?
robin:i know youre changing, but i have to say this, jay you're going to the darker side of you....sarili mo ang kinawawa mo ( you know youre going to the darker side of you jay, youre making yourself pitiful..
me: in that case, im exposing the real me, unmasking pretensions and camouflage, if you see me like that you're entitled to your own opinion and i respect you on that, i just hope you will respect me as to what im incline and wish to do with myself
robin: i hope you will realize in the end, that im a true friend and loyal friend to you. Coz no one can say to you your weaknesses except your true friends for he wishes you to be better
me: well, lets wait and see how soon will that pretension lasts
robin: are you accusing me of pretending to be your friend? Are you doubtful of my words? Well that the rudest and most cruel thing ever that you will sayto anyone especially a friend
me: in this deceptive world, you have to learn how to lay down your cards for in a single blink of an eye, youll discover that you have been cheated in the game, the most excruciating pain again is there, its hurting is unparalleled and unequalled
robin: play your cards fairly. Be selfless and stop being selfish and self centered
me: fair enough to only to lose in the end? not again robs, ive had enough of it, a mistake i vowed never again to happen
robin: If youre a good gambler and play fairly you will win but if youre a person who cheats because you think that they will cheat you will never win.
me: well then, id reather be winning the gamethe way i want it to be,and not not what others want me to do it the way they want it.
robin: always ponder this jay, its better to be cheated than to be a cheater. Karma strikes twice, it will hit you on a double. The ones cheated were blessed and comforted
me: how come its the other way around? Isnt it ironic to believe in that cliche when experience taught me the exact opposite? u cant blame me either
robin: it depends how you understand it. Dont think that if your hurt or sad its a punishment or karma for you. Instead think thats it will be the best cause you will learn to appreciate the future
me:well how soon would the future be? isnt today what we call the future of yesterday?

then he stopped!

this has been your ironicguy sharing

now signing off

life is simple, ironic it may seem because of the complexities it brought in.

Robin's Quandary

Yesterday when all the usual stuffs at the office bored me again, i took a peek at MIRC and saw Arthur's nick, one person come's to mind! and viola, he's there as expected. la_trip of MIRC, a registered nick so no wonder he is the person i knew. I told myself not to answer if ever he will mack me. Seconds after he really did macked me.

He told me he understood my predicament when he read my blog (thanks for being resourceful enough to be able to understand the weirdness i had, i just dont have the words to describe what my decision is all about). He added, i was unfair to him for i generalize all people around me (well, i cant help it dude, i wanna take the risk no more!)

After work, i hurriedly went home, and landed in bed. My aunt woke me up when the dinner was served. Unusual night for me it was, no calls, no text! Somehow the loneliness again visited me. I just hooked myself on the idiot box while comfortably sitting on the sofa. Minutes later, a few txt messages from my sunbuddies keeps me busy, until its time for my "Memories of Bali" and "Stained Glass" watching hour, hehe.. While watching the former, i was texting ryan then my phone rang, unregistered number! I did not receive the call and continued watching the boobtube. When it was time for commercial, i texted the number asking for the identity.

"Grabe limot man jud dayon, im robin." (wow, you forget me that fast, im robin).... well then, he asked if he could call again and then we did had a conversation for about 15 minutes.

As expected, the convee was all bout the decision i made. My being unfair to him, my principle, my being inconsiderate with others. He was talking something about no man's is an island, or something to that effect, but i was just too hooked at television to really get his sermon or maybe i was just too much sticking to what i believe would give me peace and consolation. A cold melon shake satisfied my thirst for whatever my body cringe for after such exchange of intellectually stimulating sides...

Yet, when everything was already said and done, I was thinking of what the consequences of my action . . . and before i get to the conclusion

i was fallen asleep!

at dawn, the conversation was replayed into my mind and i realized somehow, robin got a point...

but then

i have to stick to my decision dude

whatever the outcome be...

though i got your predicaments,

i remain


this has been your ironicguy deciding something

now signing off

life is simple, ironic it may seem because of the complexities it brought in.

And Jayron Again!

You wrote countless letters for him on your blog, and each time i read those love letters i felt jealous over him. I dont know why, maybe because he has taken you away from me or maybe I felt i should be the one you address those letters.

Sweet flowering words all over the body, encompassing every thought and feelings deep within, an innate talent which I adores in you, whoa! what a romantic person you are my friend.

When I asked you whats the real score between you and jayron, you told me, you were just friends for according to you he doesnt want a relationship. I was sittin abacked and was contented with such a simple text message yet the thought that you told me you're now good friends keeps bothering me that somehow the possibility that my place in your elite circle of friends will be taken away by him.

A while ago when i check your blog, i read an entry which up to this moment disturbed my senses yet the same old story it is, somehow a new heat is trying to escape to haze me aflame! And yet, cool as I am, I manage to get rid of the burning flame that is about to burst and is calmly sitting down, wrote an entry in my blog in response to yours.

NOw bri, its been quite a long time since your last message, since we last chatted and last saw each other, silence keeps us a distance away, and the portrait that would be our keepsake has not been materialized as of yet. These instances made me shiver in fear that somehow the relationship that have been established will be put to the realm of forgetfullness.

Your scheduled departure from the Philippines is just a clear manifestation that as you take off your feet from the Philippine ground, all will be cleared up and back to square one. Yet the thought that your promises has been sculpted into my innermost being somehow gives me the assurance that time will come, you will be back in my arms again.

Off to Dubai you are, still the lingering hope of letting you stay, i forbid! For i know you will be goin places after all, and i knew, its your life to spare there and somehow you're being assured of your place in the sun in the foreign land.

and im jealous,

im afraid that ... history will repeat itself as what these individual did

it was kench

and raye

and marinel

then there was Josh

and Gio's gone

now LR followed

and then JC

and ronyl

and soon my reign too will . . .

and so does . . .

Brian

i am afraid to be alone again in the wilderness

and

I cried . . .

Now i have to leave my friends before i get hooked with them
... before they will leave me...
... before they will be gone

and Jayron still...................

again!

this has been you ironicguy realizing loneliness

now signing off

life is simple, ironic it may seem because of the complexities it brought in.

My Life

It happen one night when I was all alone in the dark, and sleep wasnt taking away my subconscious mind just yet.

It so happened that i was contemplating on how my life looked like for the past years. All the memories were drawn back and i was laid back down to the memory lane.

Yesterdays dream, thats the song we used to sang as our graduation song way back in elementary, it stirred up my innermost being as its lyrics seem to promise me of a bright tomorrow. Then highschool it was, I met new friends, new buddies, new teachers! Very much of real life, hardworks and perseverance were the only weapon i had to be able to combat everything that i had to go through that time.

And then college, i have to work to be able to support my studies. I was a working student! Its kinda hard to balance my time for study and with my working schedule yet i was able to surpass it. Im off to duty by 7:30 in the morning and ill be attending my academe in the afternoon till night. Off for home by 9:00 pm, travelled 18 kilometers by jeep and walk a distance and reach the house with empty stomach, tired body and exhausted mind.

Huh! what a life i had in college. Untypical of any college teenage boys. But then come to think of it, twas worth the effort for I proudly walk the aisle on the 23rd of March 2001 to get my much coveted diploma, showed to the world that I emerged victorious in my quest and made my mother happy somehow for finally somebody brought home a diploma and her youngest at that.

Then I believe that when you do good in school, you will be able to make it on the real world that easy, but i was wrong for i failed miserably in my quest for the corporate world for the first year after my graduation. Looking for job, hopping from one company to another, i was a bit disappointed to finally realized that in the real world, you have to have someone to get you in. Unfortunately, i dont have any, so twas a trying times for me.

Fate would have it for me to land here in Mindanao and find my place under the sun

NOw already 24th year of my existence, still lingering for happiness and contentment which up to this moment, is still unattainable and far-a-reach!

Longing for mother and father love

Hoping for one true love

Wishing for a bright space under the sun, a fair share in the game of life

and i realize tears fall down from my eyes

tears of disappointment, tears of courage, tears of hopelessness

different feelings on one night

i forbid...

i cried...

and i fall asleep...

and then..

a new dawn broke in, signalling for a new day...whoa!

this is really my life... complicated, hard and oh so much full of indifference,

you dont know me or may not understand it all but i knew

someday

hopefully you will...........................................

this is your ironicguy on his 24th year
now signing off

life is simple, ironic it may seem because of the complexities it brought in.

LOVE MOVES IN A MYSTERIOUS WAYS

wHOA! what a line from a song revived by the soul sirene Nina... Hmmmm

In every persons life there comes a time that one true love will come unnoticed! And as it comes, it creates a new and everlasting feeling of happiness and contentment. In the long run, when everythings seems ok, trials will come and off you broke loose to the pillar that stood erect and support your love. When such foundation totally collapsed, all dreams will be shattered into pieces of illusions.

And then...

a new love will come! whoa! what a cycle indeed!


this is your ironicguy thinking about love's cycle

now signing off

life is simple, ironic it may seem because of the complexities it brought in.

His Holiness Pope John Paul II

AS i was preparing myself for church, a news report cut off the regular programming on TV. I was hooked into it for it reports about the death of our beloved Pope John Paul II. Well, at that time, it never came into my senses thats why i went on and fixed myself.

Before the mass, it was announced that the Pope is back to his creator. And during the sermon, i am now back into my senses and felt the lost of a pillar in the catholic church! I was sittin abacked and was unconsciously reflecting on the Popes great works not just for the Catholic church but the world in general, not by any weapon made by humans but by a mere faith. Huh! a big lost to the entire world he is...


this is your ironicguy contemplating

now signing off

life is simple, ironic it may seem because of the complexities it brought in.

HATE LIST: Duh

Here I am, at 1:40 am after gone from saturday gimmick, creating a blog exclusively for everything i hate!

1. Mike Enriquez
Duh! whatever makes him asia's best newscaster once upon a time, i cannot find the reason why! His ratatatat voice is nothing but an eerie and annoying to hear especially if anchoring a news program like that of 24oras Add to that, he is not a tv personality to watch for his aura is nothing but a road just like we got which DPWH failed to maintain!

2. StarStruck
Dream, believe, survive! duh! obviously derived from outwit, outplay outlast slogan of Survivor! and their winner the ultimate survivor! need i say more? Common' whatever happen to you guys behind that show, yes it rated high enuf but it doesnt mean you have to put the tagline "iba na ang Orig" for obviously yours is nothin but a copycat show, not to mention your host which is actually a product of the other similar star search!

3. Mulawin
Well, i must admit, their wings are great! thats only the better things you can see on that show! The word Mulawin for one is not a bird! duh! and come on youre claiming again that its original! the first tele-fantasya! huh! isnt that the same with fantaserye which Marina started? duh!

4. Iba ang Tibok Pag Kapuso
Whatever happen to the think-tank of your network! why are they always imitating what the other network is giving! Paraphrasing the tagline Iba Magmahal ang Kapamilya doesnt give you a perfect tagline to bare, instead it suck and puts your network to shame! Iba mangopya ang kapuso!

5. Joey De Leon
Now heres the catch, whatever that stupid old no breeding man doin on tv? He can be seen everyday on Eat Bulaga, every wednesday on Nuts Entertainment! duh! he's not funny after all... An insecure old man who is happy in throwing bad words at the rival show and when the garbage thrown will be thrown back, he'll bark like a stupid fuckin bitchy dog! duh!

this is your ironicguy on hate mode

now signing off

life is simple, ironic it may seem because of the complexities it brought in.

Finding Baby LR

Twa's a night before easter when we had a pretty much fun conversation on phone! (thanks to the 24/7 suncell unlimited call, we never run out of load) We talk anything and everything under the sun, oh well, under the moon for it was night as i said earlier! Based on his laughs during our phone chat, i never expect that he had something deep within that is bothering him after his much hyped stowaway! He's back to Mati and has dropped all his subjects in school even if school is about to end! WEll i did promise to visit him in Mati together with Ronyl for according to him, he cant go back to Davao any longer! He told me, he will be goin to Panay, the mountainside of Mati to live a life less ordinary! huh! comin from him, twas a joke of sorts!

Never did I expect that it would be our last conversation!...

The following day, i go to mass early in the morning. Back to sleep by 7:00 oclock till noon. My phone rangs which awaken me from my sleep!

Ronyl calling. . .

I thought it would be just another scrapped conversation that is about to happen. I thought he would be tellin me all his experiences by now since they will be in the beach with all his buddies including ryan and bryan! well, i was wrong for he was tellin me about LR's stowaway! again! huh!

I did contact his number but his sister was the one i talked to. It happened that LR left his phone when he got away! whew! how could i possibly contact him now? Huh! this guy's not usin' his head for the second time around, i never thought he is that stupid to be goin away again just because he was scolded by his mother. Poor baby LR, still a baby when it comes to handling trying times!

Its been a week, and finally i heard news from him. He is now in Iligan take exam! Good to hear it. Well at least, he will be away from Davao's sinful life. hmmmmmm.... And i hope he could find his place under the sun there in Iligan!

Ingatz bro.. and keep in touch oweiz!

this is your ironicguy missing a friend

now signing off



life is simple, ironic it may seem because of the complexities it brought in.